The Pennsylvania state court system, in which I practiced for seven years, resembles something conjured up in a novel co-authored by Charles Dickens, Franz Kafka, and James L. Cain — filled with overstuffed nomenclature, byzantine procedures, and a general air of sordidness. The tale of Superior Court Judge Michael Joyce, currently facing federal mail fraud and money laundering charges while simultaneously running for re-election, is a nice illustration of the latter:

According to the nine-count indictment, Joyce received $440,000 in settlements for injuries he claimed “affected his professional and personal life in a very significant way” after an SUV rear-ended his state-leased Mercedes Benz at a traffic light in Erie.

Joyce claimed the accident made him unable to play golf, scuba dive or exercise. He also claimed the injuries prevented him from pursuing higher judicial office, according to the indictment.

The judge complained of constant neck and back pain, headaches, difficulty sleeping, anxiety and short-term memory loss, according to the indictment. He claimed he was in such pain from May to July 2002 that he could not play a round of golf or hold a cup of coffee in his right hand, the indictment said.

During the same period Joyce made these claims, he played several rounds of golf in Jamaica, Florida, New York and Pennsylvania, went scuba diving in Jamaica and renewed his diving instructor’s certificate, prosecutors said.

The indictment also alleges Joyce used some of the settlement money to buy a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, a share in a single-engine Cessna airplane, property in Millcreek Township, Pa., and to pay down a personal line of credit.